Dear Starbucks Macchiato,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to tell you something you may not want to hear. You are not a macchiato.
I know, I know. It’s a lot to take in. You are delicious and your flavor is unparalleled, but you are not a macchiato. You may be confused. “If I’m not a macchiato then who is?” you may have thought to yourself. Well my dear friend, I’m so glad you asked. A macchiato is defined as espresso with a dash of frothy steamed milk. Now, when I look at you I see milk, I see a little espresso, I definitely see some delicious flavored syrup—but I do not see this:
Don’t look so sad, Starbucks Macchiato, I’m not asking you to change! I’m not saying you should taste or look like a true macchiato. I just don’t see why you feel the need to call yourself something you’re not. You are original, my friend. You are your own drink, and you deserve a name that fits who you are.
Again I apologize for having to be the one to tell you this, but I think it will benefit you to know the truth.
Any coffee connoisseur